Losing our second love...

The other day I saw my OB/GYN for my annual appointment. No big deal. I have never minded going and I have made it no secret that I love my doctor. Like, a lot. Besides being a good physician, in my opinion, she has always been wonderfully supportive. And besides that, the first time she ever met Adam I knew she was a good fit for his personality as well, which became so important when we finally were pregnant with Adeline. She has a great sense of humor and doesn't take herself too seriously, but knows when to turn on her serious side. She could be the poster child for those "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters that are all the rage again. Anyways, I don't even know why I wrote all of that because this really isn't about my doctor.

When I first penned this appointment into my calendar it was for far different reasons (and originally for a different date)...

April 9th, 2:30 p.m. - This coming Tuesday was supposed to be the first day that Adam and I excitedly got to see the small, bean-shaped image and quickly flickering heartbeat of our second child. Unfortunately, just days after making this appointment it became very clear that this was a milestone we wouldn't reach as I began experiencing a very early term miscarriage.

These past few weeks have been hard. I can't even begin to explain the myriad of emotions I have felt beyond even that of sadness: anger, confusion, love, resentment, jealousy, shame, foolishness. Just to name a few. And while I know it is conventional to wait out the standard 12 weeks to make a pregnancy public knowledge, try telling a woman's heart to wait 12 weeks to begin making plans with that baby. I can almost guarantee you that when most women (i.e. Me) see two pink lines on a pregnancy test, within the span of 12 seconds their mind is off and running. You have mentally calculated when your due date will likely be. You have done the math and figured out how many months/years younger this new baby will be than their older sibling. You are imagining what it will look like when you snap that photo of both of your babies under the Christmas tree this year. You are moaning over the fact that while you had already planned on camping out at the neighborhood pool with your toddler this summer, you will now have to do so in a likely less than flattering pregnancy swimsuit. Then you think that your swimsuit might as well be a striking shade of emerald, not only because it is the Pantone color of the year, but because you will likely be green with envy while watching all of the other mamas strutting their svelte figures around.

So while caution might prevent you from announcing your pregnancy immediately to the world, it doesn't prevent your mind from going "there" and it doesn't prevent your heart from instantly feeling a seed of love for the tiny baby growing inside of you.

I'm not sure I know all of the reasons why I decided to share this now, to make it public knowledge, other than that I feel ready. I do not believe or try to live out the notion that it is necessary to share everything about our lives even though blogs such as this one, and social media, make it very easy and at times tempting to do so. I just felt pulled towards transparency in this situation.

Outside of a few family members and close friends who have experienced similar loss, we initially didn't speak to anyone about this. I just wasn't ready to speak freely about it. And if I'm being completely honest, it can be hard to share these things with those who don't know the sting of fertility challenges and/or miscarriage. But many of you have picked up on my demeanor and have been respectful when I have said that I wasn't ready to talk about what's been on my heart. I thank you for your concern friends. Adam and I are always amazed by the blessing of friends we have in our lives.

And here is where the hope and beauty of this misfortune comes in. Over the past couple of weeks, as we have slowly begun to share our hurt with you all, we have been reminded of a few things.

For starters, while there is comfort to be found in others who have been in similar situations, there is also comfort to be found from those who love you. Plain and simple. Whether they have walked a mile in a matching pair of shoes or haven't felt the emotions of your plight at all. I really can't speak for men (obviously), but I believe that God fashioned the hearts of women in such a way that when we share our deepest hurts with those who love us, a sort of healing begins to occur. It isn't a quick fix, it doesn't erase things and certainly doesn't change what has happened. It might be just the first of 1,000 painful sutures over a wound. But in my case, at least, it is as if my heart can sigh and say, "There. It's on the table. I don't have to mask this hurt and pretend it isn't a part of my story right now." So for those of you who have had knowledge of this before this blog post, I thank you for your listening ears, your encouraging words and most of all for the prayers you have offered on our behalf.

Secondly: Hope. I am not going to lie, I spent that first week, at least, wallowing in self-pity and carrying around an "I quit. I give up." mentality. And to be honest, I didn't want to feel any differently because I felt like at the very least I had earned the right to adopt a defeatist attitude. To not trust. And all during this time I talked to God and cried out for understanding. It is almost laughable to think that I thought I could stand on my soap box of pity all while calling on my God and not expect Him to begin planting seeds of hope in my heart again.

Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as your trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Do I feel joy over the loss of my baby? Certainly not! Have I felt joy in the days since? Absolutely. Am  I at peace with the sadness I have felt? No, not entirely. But I can assure you that as pity has lost some of it's grip on my heart, I have felt God's peace and am finding it easier to trust in His love and comfort for me. I don't know what is to come. I don't know if Adeline will be our forever only child or if she will be a big sister someday. I don't know how this experience will impact my life in the future. I do know that hope is mine though. It is a gift from the Holy Spirit. And not only can I have it, but I can overflow with it. And that, my friends, is the promise I cling to.

Finally, I want to leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs that we sing at church. I have always loved this song, but in the past few weeks the second verse in particular has been so meaningful. (We sang this days after my miscarriage and I immediately began sobbing in the middle of church.) The song is called Wonderful Merciful Savior.

Wonderful, Merciful Savior

Precious Redeemer and Friend

Who would have thought that a Lamb

Could rescue the souls of men

Oh you rescue the souls of men

Counselor, Comforter, Keeper

Spirit we long to embrace

You offer hope when our hearts have

Hopelessly lost the way

Oh, we hopelessly lost the way

You are the One that we praise

You are the One we adore

You give the healing and grace

Our hearts always hunger for

Oh, our hearts always hunger for

Almighty, infinite Father

Faithfully loving Your own

Here in our weakness You find us

Falling before Your throne

Oh, we're falling before Your throne

21 Months (and 7 LONG days)

Dear Adeline,

I'm pretty sure I will end up saying this with each month and year that passes, but it truly is hard to believe that you are 21 months old already. You are almost 2!! I have fond memories of sitting in the very chair I am sitting in right now, two years ago, watching you go crazy in my belly each evening. We didn't even know you were a SHE at that point. And now you run around our lives with just as much energy.

I wanted to get this post up on time last weekend, but the past 7 days have been long ones with you due to a bout with bronchitis. We had some rough days, but thankfully you are feeling much better. So here goes...

It has been 4 months since I last wrote an "Adeline" update, but I remember mentioning last time that you were becoming a little girl more and more. And now I can fairly confidently say there is so very little baby left in you. You have changed so much even since Christmas. Most of these changes have been so enjoyable to watch and be a part of, but I can also tell we are headed into the terrible twos.

Checking out snow for the first time ever. You weren't overly impressed.

I think one of the biggest changes over the past 6 weeks has been how much more you are talking. A few weeks ago I started to make a list of all of the words and phrases you were using, and I quickly lost track. You learn new words every day. Your daddy was traveling a few weeks ago and after being away for just a few days he noticed how much more you were talking when he came home. You say "pease" and "kank you" very consistently. Unfortunately "no" has also become a frequently used word as well. A couple of weeks ago we were in the car together and I sneezed. From the backseat I heard you pipe up, "Bess you!" It made me laugh so hard. I think the other thing your daddy and I love to hear you say is your name. We have to ask you to say it, and while you can't say your full name (Adeline) yet, you chime in with "Addie Mae" - and your Mae has the sweetest southern twang to it.

You are still a relatively picky eater. I keep trying, but it is safe to say that meal times can be a source of frustration for me. And outside of going to Chick-Fil-A once a week, eating out at restaurants has become a pretty miserable experience for your daddy and me. That being said, you still love fruit in particular and would probably eat it non-stop if I let you. And it is pretty hard not to let you when you say, "More please," so nicely. Our other big obstacle with you and eating is that you HATE to any crumb or food matter on your hands or clothes. And when it happens you don't handle the situation well at all. You are such a chip off the OCD block!

I am very excited for warmer spring weather to come our way soon. We have done pretty well this winter, but I can tell that both of us are ready for a change of scenery. I think you get bored inside the house during the day, so I try to plan at least one outing a day with you.  We still go to Kindermusik together once a week and pretty soon you are going to start a class at the YMCA once a week for a month. You help me run errands and I love having a little companion. I have tried to start letting you have a bit of independence by not always putting you in your stroller or shopping cart. It definitely makes our errands last longer and you keep me on my toes because you do not like to stick close to me. I know there is only one way to help you learn though. So I will keep trying. You also love to go down the street and play at a friend's house. They have lots of fun toys and it is a good change for you.

Keeping busy...

You haven't been measured and weighed since November, but one look at you and it is clear that you are off the charts for your age. You are taller than every single one of your little friends who are the same age. You have almost completely grown out of your 2T clothing and are wearing mostly 3Ts now. I can't keep up! Your hair also keeps getting longer and thicker and you still have your curls. I know we are completely bias, but your daddy and I think you are perfectly gorgeous just the way you are.

You love your baths every night! You were very sick with bronchitis when this picture was taken. It was the first real smile you gave me all day.

I'm sure there are 100 things I will wish that I had mentioned in this post, but I will end with this: One of the greatest pleasures I think a parent of a young child experiences is "learning" their child. Someday you will tell me this isn't the correct use of the word learning, but this is what I mean...when you were a newborn it was so amazing to know that I knew exactly how you liked to be held, what would most likely make you stop crying, what would get you to giggle, and which toys you were most excited by. As you started to get older you didn't need me in the same way all the time. You could soothe yourself to sleep and you would make yourself giggle by doing something funny. Even now though, it is such a joyful experience to learn new things about you. I know where you like your head in your crib. I know how you soothe yourself with your lovey by running your hand back and forth across the tag that is stitched into the satin edge. I know which songs you like me to sing to you the best. I know exactly how you clasp your hands together as we pray together each night before bed. And the fun part is that all of these things will change over time and we have a front row seat to watch you as you continue to learn and grow.

Sleepy girl. Now how do I break your affection for those pacifiers?

You can be a real handful Adeline. You try my patience on a daily basis. You are still attached at my hip and sometimes I feel smothered by it. I wouldn't change any of it though. You are sweet to others and your whole face lights up when you smile. I will continue to do all I can to teach you to have a kind heart, a sweet spirit, and an attitude of love towards others. I thank God for you each day.

P.S. - If you ever read this and wonder why pictures of you have become fewer and poorer in quality, it is because you hate to have your picture taken. You don't stay still long enough and want to see what I am taking a picture of you. Kind of hard when you are meant to be the subject of the picture. Sigh.

Oh that's right, I have a blog

I am currently bowing my head in shame...it has been nearly 3 months since I have uttered a single word on this old blog of mine. In typical Rachel fashion, I will think of something I want to blog about, fail to write that idea down, and then forget about blogging altogether in the meantime. And while I would love to say that 2013 is going to be the year I blog with consistency, that's probably not true. Afterall, it is February 10th...2013 didn't exactly roll in yesterday.

All that being said, I thought I would jump on tonight and just share a few things.

So Adam has started traveling a little more frequently for work. I think it is a great learning experience for him, and I think he enjoys it and is doing a great job out on the road from the sound of things. He was gone a couple of weeks ago for a few days. Last week he was gone again and returned Thursday night. He hopped on a plane again this morning and doesn't return until Wednesday night. I think this is a bit of an adjustment for Adeline and me too. Before having Adeline, I really didn't feel any anxiety when Adam would travel, but I will admit that now it causes me some anxiety. I think my biggest fear is that I will get really sick and not be able to take care of Adeline and no one will be there to help me. It's not like I can call my mom and ask her to come over for a bit. I know it's silly, because I am sure there are a dozen people here who would be willing to jump in to assist. This is why I need to be medicated people! Keeping it real, as always.

I just read a really funny book called Sparkly Green Earrings by Melanie Shankle over at Big Mama blog. I recommend it to all you moms of little ones. It is a lovely, funny, candid account of motherhood. Not only did I laugh out loud, a lot, but I also found it to be encouraging during this season of being a mommy.

In one short week Adeline will be 21 months old. What?!?!???!!! I know, I can't believe it either. There is really just zero baby left in her, which is a little hard for my mama heart to handle. That being said, she is a trip and as challenging as I am finding toddlerhood to be, she really is just so funny. I am hoping to jump back on here with a 21 month post. There is just so much I want to remember about this stage and I haven't done an Adeline update in, um, a long time. Anyways, I have a feeling there are lots of new milestones ahead of us in the months to come...think potty training, paci weaning (not going well so far), and transitioning to her big girl room. I am most excited about that last part. Well, not the part where she is no longer contained by the 4 walls of her crib, but the part where I get to decorate her big girl room. Remember, we didn't know what we were having until I gave birth, so her nursery was a pretty blank slate until after she was born. And then I had a newborn and quickly ran out of steam once curtains were up and a few things were hung on the wall. I think her big girl room will be tons more fun to plan!

That's all for tonight. I really am hoping to be back on here more often. Really so I can keep track of what we are up to as a family. Ta ta for now!

Just a Stay at Home Mom

I think one of the things that I struggle with a lot in life is feeling content with the here and now. I always have my sights set on the next thing: the next home improvement project, the next stressful situation coming up that I can't wait to move past, the next birthday or holiday to buy gifts for, the next gift I want for that holiday or my own birthday, the next time I get to have some "me" time, etc. And sometimes I think that while it is good to anticipate, plan, or dream, I personally allow myself to go down the slippery slope of discontentment. (That's a word, right?)

Anyways, a year ago this month, Adam and I made the decision that I would quit my full time job outside our home to stay at home full-time with Adeline. While it wasn't an easy decision, it was one that I was ready to make.

Fast forward a year, I have been home with Adeline since the end of February - 9 months. And I'm sure many of you have seen on Facebook that each day for the month of November, people are listing something they are thankful for, myself included. And yesterday I was trying to think about what I was truly thankful for that day, and the phrase that kept coming to mind was, "I'm thankful that I'm just a stay at home mom."

Two things real quick:
1. I am willing to bet that some of you are sick of me talking about Adeline on Facebook, posting pictures of Adeline on Facebook, saying mom things on Facebook, etc. I mean this in the most sincere, non-rude way possible: I don't care. She is the joy of my life and while I don't feel like I have to share everything about our personal lives on FB, I enjoy sharing things about her and our family. I know that her story isn't ultimately mine to tell, but I will share the harmless tidbits, joys, and frustrations of being her mom.

2. This post is reflective of me, my thought process and emotions, my experience as a SAHM. It in no way is meant to reflect on any of the other moms I know.

So when this thought, "I'm thankful I'm just a stay at home mom," popped into my head, I literally spent several hours digging deep, if you will, to figure out why I was thinking what I was thinking. I'm complex like that, ha! Seriously though, it took me by surprise.

I was in heaven when I hung up my finance badge and stuck the mom badge on for good. I was so glad that I wasn't toting my baby off to daycare each morning. I felt like I was being given a second chance at being a worthwhile wife, homemaker, and mother. And to be quite honest, I felt like I was getting to know my baby in a way that I hadn't before - the only thing I deeply regret about going back to work for those 6 months after maternity leave.

And then the months moved on, and so did the realization that I contribute not one single, solitary penny to our bank account right now. This is not something that I thought would bother me. I was and still am surprised that this bothers me. It isn't really the money I miss, it is the contribution of the money that I miss. If that makes any sense at all.

Many of you know this, but for those of you who do not, Adam and I worked at the same company before I left. And when he comes home with funny stories about some of my favorite people from work, I all of a sudden feel like I'm missing out. Relationships that I value are now harder to keep up with. And then I think of all of hard work they are putting in to building this company, and I wonder if I settled. I miss contributing to that company. I look at the women there who are smart, funny, driven moms who can make the career and their families work. And they do it without the stress that I feel like was so visibly written all over my face for those 6 months. I'm not saying they don't feel stress, I'm just saying that they make it work. And I wonder why I couldn't.

When I pull on jeans, a sweatshirt, and pile my hair into a ponytail, I don't always feel content being "that" mom. Ironically, sometimes this is when I feel most content as well. Because let's face it, jeans are more comfortable than most of my work-appropriate attire was. The drawback is my work-appropriate attire was often cuter than my jeans are. Ha!

And finally, when I'm not comparing myself to the "old" Rachel, the one with the full-time job, or to one of my former co-workers, or to any of my dear friends who work full time, I am frequently comparing myself to other stay at home moms. And this is where, on certain days, I just crumble. I feel like so many other SAHMs contribute their talents to their families in meaningful ways. And I don't say this to get praise or compliments from anyone, but I just feel like I haven't figured out quite how I contribute to my family in a meaningful way.

Yes, I take good care of Adeline. But let me tell you the current list of things running through my head where I feel like I am falling short: I don't actively play with her enough. I don't take enough quality pictures of her (read: on my good camera, not my iPhone). I don't spend enough time trying to teach her colors, shapes, numbers, letters, songs, etc. I don't make crafts with her...heck, we don't own anything craft-like beyond crayons. I don't make photobooks or yearly books for her. I didn't take her picture each month of the first year of her life with a cute backdrop or a fun sticker on her onesie. I don't fix her enough wholesome meals. I don't take her on enough outings. I haven't made her anything (a picture for her wall, an outfit, a hat) because I feel like I have no talent for these things. And the list just goes on, and on, and on. And I know what you are all thinking (that I'm CRAZY), but this is what I'm feeling. It nearly brings me to tears when I can't get these thoughts to stop formulating in my mind. And these are just the thoughts focused on what I'm not currently offering Adeline. There are more concerning what I'm not doing for Adam or for myself even (like working out, or having a blog that more people read).

I know I tend to ramble, but from the very beginning I have wanted this blog to be an outlet for me to just "speak" what is on my mind and heart. The point in all of this is that over the past 9 months I have found plenty of opportunity to not be content with being a stay at home mom. And very little of that has to do with what goes on in our lives on a daily basis. It has more to do with what I perceive I'm missing out on or not doing well enough.

My prayer lately has been that God would bring me some peace in this area of life. I truly am so thankful that I have the ability to say that I am "just" a stay at home mom. I want to feel that contentment more wholly, I guess. I want to trust that if God has a greater purpose for me being at home than I am already living out, that I would be smart enough to shut up and listen to Him. And if He just wants me to keep doing what I'm doing, I pray that he would make me content doing it just like I am.

I really meant to write this yesterday, so this is Day 15: I am thankful that I am just a stay at home mom!! I truly am.

UPDATE: My sister just called me and told me this is the most depressing entry ever. HAHA! I am not trying to be depressing, I promise! And I know all of these expectations are not realistic, I am NOT trying to be Supermom. I don't want to be Supermom. Just sayin'.

Day 18: Mimicry, Momentos, and Motivation

And that, my friends, is what I like to call alliteration. Well, technically I didn't call it alliteration, that is just what it is. The point is that catchy titles aren't my strong suit, but hey, I try!

Really this post is full of a bunch of random stuff, but I thought the "M"s  were a bit more grabby than "bunch of random stuff".

• Remember yesterday in Adeline's 17 month post how I mentioned that she is big into mimicking me? Here is further proof...

I realize these pictures are poor quality, but after we got home from MOPS this afternoon she insisted on walking around in my black flats for several minutes. It was so funny.

And this evening while we were waiting on Adam to get home, I quick pulled out my Swiffer to get some dust off of the hardwoods and before I made any progress someone else insisted on sweeping. She actually did a decent job...hmmm...I might need to take advantage of this eagerness more often!

• This is going to sound crazy, but even though I love that Adeline is now at home with me, on occasion we will visit friends homes whose kids are in school or a daycare center, and I get slightly jealous when I see all of the cute pieces of artwork they have displayed on their fridge or mantel. Things like Mother's Day cards or fun seasonal crafts. I know that Adeline will be bringing home plenty of those things in no time, but yeah, I guess I'm crazy like that.

Anyways, imagine my delight when I picked Adeline up from her classroom this morning at MOPS and as I was leaving they told me to pick up her craft at the door. What?!? A craft?!? I was probably overly excited, but it was so fun bringing something home that she helped make. And they insisted that each child helped glue and stamp.

(By the way, this is the "Kelvin" filter on Instagram. And I love the raw border, but I hate how it turns everything an unnatural shade of yellow. Such a shame!)

• Am I the only person who hates it when you get one of those little packets of Whoppers out of the Halloween candy bag, and when you open it discover that it only contains 2 Whoppers instead of the 3 it is supposed to have? Anyone?

• I have really only added one new TV show to my fall lineup, but one of the things I love when new series start is seeing actors pop up who I love from other shows. For example, Luke and Laura Spencer's son, Lucky (General Hospital), is in that new Nashville show. I watched GH for a couple years in middle school (thanks big sis!) and haven't seen that actor in a LONG time. Another example, Andre Braugher played Thomas in Glory (one of the best movies ever!) and he is now in the new series Last Resort. I am not watching Last Resort, but I have been watching Nashville and simultaneously having a serious case of hair envy when it comes to Connie Britton's locks.

Moving on...

• While playing in the basement this afternoon Adeline climbed up onto Adam's desk chair and started talking on the phone...err...computer mouse.

Cute! Oh, and remember that teaser picture in this post? Well, it has something to do with this picture :)

• And finally, because I have to pull the "motivation" part of the title into this post somehow, I have several house projects I want to get done before Christmas, but I'm having trouble finding the will and motivation to get them jump started. I don't know why I decide things need to get done "now" as we head into the busiest time of the year. I am really good at creating more stress for myself!

Hope you all had a great Thursday!

Day 17: Adeline at 17 Months

It's Day 17 and today Adeline is 17 months old. I don't think a day goes by that Adam or I don't remark about how our baby is now a little girl. I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm having a hard time admitting to myself that the baby phase is behind us. Each stage and age has its challenges and rewards and I am trying to keep in mind how much fun we have with our girl each day (or at least most of each day...wink!)

Adeline, today you are 17 months old, big girl! I absolutely can't get over how much you have, once again, changed in the past couple of months. You are such a funny, independent little girl. You are also strong-willed. Even though we have some rough days, I can't get enough of you. Walking into your room every morning brings a smile to my face.You are so busy and I feel like there is so much I could tell you about this stage in your life. But I will try to keep this as brief as possible :)

• We haven't been to the doctor since your 15 month well visit, so I am not sure how much you weigh, but you are still off the charts in height/weight. You are one tall girl and people often think (because of your height) that you are much older than you actually are. I love your little chubbs because it is one of the last things about you that still screams "baby" to me.

• You are still a great night sleeper and you have finally settled into taking one great nap a day. We cut you back to one nap a day around the beginning of September and in just the last week you have started napping consistently for 2-2.5 hours each afternoon.

I was trying to show her how to smell the flowers and that translated into her tasting them.

• Food is still hit or miss with you. Some days you will love something and two days later you might not want to touch it. You still aren't crazy about meat and vegetables most of the time. You won't eat bananas anymore either. We don't give you sweets too often, but when we do you are a huge fan. A few weeks ago you were sick and I cut dairy out of your diet for about a week. Since then you haven't been as crazy about milk as you were before. Darn it! I wonder if that is because we accidentally bought you sweetened vanilla almond milk (oops!).

• You finally are enjoying your time in the nursery at church. It took 3 months and lots of tears, but I am so glad you are comfortable spending time in there now. You have also done pretty well in your classroom when we go to MOPS together every other week. With that being said, you still want and demand my undivided attention when we are in the same room together. I can't always give it to you, so this continues to be a source of frustration for me (and apparently for you too, ha!).

• You are starting to expand your vocabulary. You "talk" to us a lot and have much to say, but you are finally learning some real words too :) You can say:

• Cracker (cah-cah)
• Kitty cat (ki-cah...which yes, is oddly similar to cracker)
• Shoes
• Juice
• Hi
• Bye and Bye-Bye
• Movie (which really just sounds like moo, but we get it)
• Yum
• Uh-oh! (you say this all of the time, especially when you purposefully throw or drop something)
• Yeah
• Baby (sounds like bye-bye)
• You can also howl like a wolf and woof like a dog (your daddy taught you those!)

• You still sign "more" a lot and just this week you started signing "please" after weeks of me showing you and asking you to say please. We are still working on "thank you".

• You love shoes and once you spot them in your shoe basket each morning, you want a pair on your feet. Further evidence that you are a girly-girl...you FREAK OUT if you find a speck of dust or dirt on your hands or clothes. Even though you pull your bows out of your hair, you still bring them to me to put back in.

• I can't get over how much you mimic what I do. You can see me do something once, and weeks later I will notice you trying to repeat the action. For instance, a couple of weeks ago you saw me file my nails. The other day you found my nail file and were trying to do it yourself - I was pretty shocked because you had only seen me do it that once. Also, if you see me putting moisturizer on my face, you fuss until I pat my hands on your cheeks and forehead and then repeat the action. If I am unloading the dishwasher, you will often grab utensils and throw them in the utensil drawer. You also love to "talk" on my phone. You put it up to your ear, tilt your head to the side, and wedge the phone between your cheek and your shoulder and jibber-jabber away. So funny!

• You love to be around people and your little friends. You love going to Kindermusik class every week. I can also tell that you have started getting excited when you see your friends. It's been fun to recognize that change and know that you now recognize other kids who you are familiar with.

• You love to play outside and we are making the most of this beautiful weather before it gets too cold for us to be out. We take lots of walks - sometimes you are ride in your stroller or wagon, and sometimes you just want to walk or push your own little wagon. Unfortunately, you have become obsessed with walking out into the street so we have to watch you closely.

We love you so much Adeline! You make us laugh each and every day, even the roughest of days. I am so thankful that I get to spend my days with you.

Days 10-16: Busy

I have obviously fallen off the bandwagon of blogging each day for the month of October, but I have thought about it every day so that counts for something. Right? I don't know what it is about October, but every single year this month is crazy busy. Our calendar fills quickly and I feel like we have such limited time to take advantage of all the fun fall activities that are offered around here (apple picking, visiting the pumpkin patch, Halloween parties, etc.)

So here are a few lots of pictures of some of the things that have kept us busy in the past week.

Adeline has been busy wearing her shoes over her pajamas. She insists. Every. Single. Morning.

We have been busy meeting friends for lunch and eating black beans (can ya tell?)

We have been busy meeting other friends for a morning of fun at Maymont park. At least this part was fun, the part where I attempt to enjoy a picnic lunch with my daughter and our friends? Yeah, not so fun. Adeline doesn't quite, shall we say, appreciate picnic lunches yet.

We have been busy visiting our favorite nursery and bringing home some pretty fall blooms for our front porch and flower beds. Adeline acted as quality control making sure this wagon could safely transport our goods.

I have gladly been busy baking these beauties for some friends. So yummy! I currently have 3 different chocolate chip cookies recipes that are all slightly different that I all love. It is fun to switch things up every once in a while. Oh, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I love my Silpat baking mats.

We have been busy finalizing some plans for a little house project. This picture is just a teaser. And no, it has nothing to do with our kitchen :)

On Sunday, we headed downtown to enjoy the last couple hours of the Richmond Folk Festival. Adeline got moving to a great blues band for a few minutes, but then she was ready to move on to bigger and better things. And by that I mean I spent an hour letting her push her own stroller, watching her step up and down and up and down a curb, and generally trying to keep her out of the path of lots of people and fast moving golf carts. Fun times. Oh, and I will never again judge people who put their kids on leashes in busy public places. I get it now.

Throw in some cleaning, yard work, cooking, laundry, and time spent outside enjoying this awesome weather and that, my friends, is what days 10-16 have been all about.

This week and next week are just as busy, but I do hope to be a little more diligent with my 31 day posts. See ya soon!