I really like the dress I'm wearing today, but she looks extra great with those shoes and that trendy necklace.
OR
Adeline behaved so well at playgroup today, but wow, I can't believe so-and-so can walk away from her daughter/son for a few seconds without setting off a meltdown. That must be nice.
OR
I love the new wreath I put on our front door, but that new patio the neighbors put in polishes off their yard so nicely.
{Side note: These are fictional scenarios. I am not singling anyone out other than myself.}
{Side note: These are fictional scenarios. I am not singling anyone out other than myself.}
You get the idea. As a woman, I compare myself to other women physically, emotionally, mentally, financially - if there is a way to compare, I do it. Normally a comparison happens between two like things, but somehow I manage to compare apples to elephants. And I do myself an immense disservice in the process.
One of the reasons I named this blog Our Contented Life was so it would serve as a reminder. You see, I don't live a contented life. I constantly want what I don't have, want what others have, want something different, want to be someone better, want, want, want! And yet, the Lord has blessed me immeasurably. There are more blessings in my life than I can count or give credit to. And I could get sick tomorrow, and that would still be true. So for me, living contentedly is a challenge that I face every day, but my weakness in being contented doesn't diminish the value of the gifts given to me by God.
For the record, it is HARD to name a blog. So one of the other reasons for the name of this blog is that it was available!
Anyways, what got me thinking about all this was a blog post from yesterday that I read. I have been reading this particular blog for over 3 years now and I love it. The blog belongs to a wife and stay at home mom of two little girls. And yesterday she mentioned that she was just having one of those seasons of life. She was finding ways to compare herself to other young moms. She was feeling like a failure as a mom and trying hard to take care of two young, active girls that she is thankful for and loves dearly, and on top of that trying to keep up with laundry, making meals, and all of the other demands that any mom faces (stay at home or not). I can relate. I am sure 99.99% of us can. She even mentioned at the end of the post that she wasn't looking for people to tell her what a good mom she is, but that she just wanted others to know that she doesn't have a perfect life.
To be quite honest, I was encouraged reading this post. And it wasn't in a "misery loves company"sort of way. Here is another mom who put her heart out there and ventured into the realm of honesty and sincerity. She could be putting off airs in blog land that she has it all together, does crafts with her kids each day, makes whole wheat pancakes each morning, and hardly has to scrub dishes at night because her daughters ate every last morsel of their lean white fish, broccoli, and brown rice dinner. No, she chose authenticity instead.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that one of the comments left to her in response to the blog post she put up yesterday chastised her and basically questioned her ability to keep up around the house (among other critical remarks). And the commenter is a mother of two grown childen. I just feel like that is very unfortunate. As someone who has walked the road of motherhood, this commenter had the perfect opportunity to encourage, but chose to criticize instead.
I don't have some sort of wham-bam ending or moral to the story here. I just know that I am all too good at comparing myself to other women, so when criticism or an unkind word comes my way, I wilt. I start to offer more credibility to the lies in my head. And I think as women, we have a unique ability and gift to be able to encourage one another instead of tear one another down. I'm not suggesting that we agree with one another on every parenting decision, or all rush to make the same new recipe, or go out and all buy the latest fashion trend and pretend that we all look fabulous in, say, mini skirts and Ugg boots (just kidding!). For my part, I am going to make a more conscious effort to encourage others where I can and pray that I would spend more time believing the truth about who God made me to be, and not the lies about how I don't measure up. Challenging? For me, yes. But again, I believe that God's truths are far bigger than my weaknesses.
One of the reasons I named this blog Our Contented Life was so it would serve as a reminder. You see, I don't live a contented life. I constantly want what I don't have, want what others have, want something different, want to be someone better, want, want, want! And yet, the Lord has blessed me immeasurably. There are more blessings in my life than I can count or give credit to. And I could get sick tomorrow, and that would still be true. So for me, living contentedly is a challenge that I face every day, but my weakness in being contented doesn't diminish the value of the gifts given to me by God.
For the record, it is HARD to name a blog. So one of the other reasons for the name of this blog is that it was available!
Anyways, what got me thinking about all this was a blog post from yesterday that I read. I have been reading this particular blog for over 3 years now and I love it. The blog belongs to a wife and stay at home mom of two little girls. And yesterday she mentioned that she was just having one of those seasons of life. She was finding ways to compare herself to other young moms. She was feeling like a failure as a mom and trying hard to take care of two young, active girls that she is thankful for and loves dearly, and on top of that trying to keep up with laundry, making meals, and all of the other demands that any mom faces (stay at home or not). I can relate. I am sure 99.99% of us can. She even mentioned at the end of the post that she wasn't looking for people to tell her what a good mom she is, but that she just wanted others to know that she doesn't have a perfect life.
To be quite honest, I was encouraged reading this post. And it wasn't in a "misery loves company"sort of way. Here is another mom who put her heart out there and ventured into the realm of honesty and sincerity. She could be putting off airs in blog land that she has it all together, does crafts with her kids each day, makes whole wheat pancakes each morning, and hardly has to scrub dishes at night because her daughters ate every last morsel of their lean white fish, broccoli, and brown rice dinner. No, she chose authenticity instead.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that one of the comments left to her in response to the blog post she put up yesterday chastised her and basically questioned her ability to keep up around the house (among other critical remarks). And the commenter is a mother of two grown childen. I just feel like that is very unfortunate. As someone who has walked the road of motherhood, this commenter had the perfect opportunity to encourage, but chose to criticize instead.
I don't have some sort of wham-bam ending or moral to the story here. I just know that I am all too good at comparing myself to other women, so when criticism or an unkind word comes my way, I wilt. I start to offer more credibility to the lies in my head. And I think as women, we have a unique ability and gift to be able to encourage one another instead of tear one another down. I'm not suggesting that we agree with one another on every parenting decision, or all rush to make the same new recipe, or go out and all buy the latest fashion trend and pretend that we all look fabulous in, say, mini skirts and Ugg boots (just kidding!). For my part, I am going to make a more conscious effort to encourage others where I can and pray that I would spend more time believing the truth about who God made me to be, and not the lies about how I don't measure up. Challenging? For me, yes. But again, I believe that God's truths are far bigger than my weaknesses.
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