I won't elaborate now on the specifics of the conference, but it was truly wonderful and gave us plenty of food for thought. Dr. Eggerichs is VERY animated and the conference was engaging, but it was also somewhat daunting to listen to such a serious discussion of marriage just 7 weeks into our own marriage.
Anyways...one of the things I specifically remember Dr. Eggerichs discussing was the behavior of little boys and little girls during a moment of conflict. Dr. Eggerichs was trying to describe how the characteristics of young children carry through to adulthood (this is a bad description of what he was trying to illustrate, especially given how long ago I heard him talk about it, but just hang in there with me). One of the examples he gave, was that when a little girl is upset over a situation, or when she wants closeness or intimacy with a parent, she will often seek eye to eye contact with that parent or person. And in contract, when little boys know they are in trouble it isn't unusual for them to stare at their feet and avoid eye contact.
Now, I have no experience with little boys of my own, but I do have 5 nephews. And while they all live far away from us, it is so fun to observe them when we are together. I don't know if the "staring at the feet" phenom happens every time, but I have seen this behavior exhibited. Dear boys, they so obviously want to make their parents proud. It is truly one of the most honorable things to see in a young man. And when they mess up, they know it. I have heard my sister say to my nephews numerous times, "{nephew}, look at me, please." Apparently Dr. Eggerichs, who has children of both sexes, was right in his observation of little boys.
As I mentioned last week, the past couple of weeks have been especially trying with Adeline. I should note that for the past 4 days, she has been a gem. However, last week she had a fever for 3 days and I'm not sure what was going on the week before that. Teething, maybe? Or just maybe stretching her wings into the realm of disobedience? Regardless, imagine my surprise when on several of her very fussy days she would come over to me, stand up next to where I was sitting, and plant her little hand on the side of my cheek and turn my face to hers. If I turned my face away, she would immediately do it again. I also noticed that when I would sit down to rock her for a few minutes before naps, bedtime, or in the middle of the night as was the case several times last week, if I wasn't looking into her eyes, again, she would reach up and turn my face to hers.
Wow. Wow. I'm not saying that Dr. Eggerichs uncovered some great mystery, but it has been so fascinating to watch this behavior develop in Adeline. As she gets older, I look forward to many, many face-to-face talks with her - whether in good times or the times when she is looking to me for reassurance and restoration.
P.S. - If the Love & Respect conference ever comes to a church near you, I do highly recommend it.
I very much agree with the boys vs. girls thing. After having two boys and then having Marin...we were like woahhhhh. We had no idea a child could be so lovey and touchy and just as you say...have the need to look you in the eyes. The boys seem to care less about making a connection with you. Ha. It reminds me of an old high school psychology experiment where my teacher put two chairs in front of the room and then invited two guys to come sit and talk to each other. They just sat there looking towards the back of the room. When the girls sat down, they immediately moved their chairs to point towards each other so they could look at each other when they talk. Okay....long and winded comment but hi! I like and read your blog! :-)
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